My husband captured this quiet, precious moment between Rubina and I the other night as she and I talked about my mom. I'm extremely grateful to have this photo; I hope to never forget the way she looked at me, the tugging feeling as she wound my hair around her small fingers, and the sound of her voice as … Continue reading Grief and Motherhood
Our adored babe is now 5 years old and tiny, no longer. There are days in which the past five years are a colorful blur and days in which I feel the wear and weight of every minute. It's been challenging and growth inducing in the most beautiful and rewarding ways. Worth the wear, worth … Continue reading Rubina Tyler /// Version 5.0
I wonder what your hopes, dreams, and plans are for the year that lies ahead... I wonder if you'll dare to dream beyond the comfort of familiarity and self imposed restraints... I hope you do...I hope I do too... But first, let us exhale the year we are leaving behind. Let us, collectively, breathe out the mistakes, sorrows, … Continue reading Breathe In | Breathe Out
If I were to tell the truth, it might be sadder than you imagined. If I were to be open, honest, and raw it might surprise you. If I revealed these past few months have been the most grievous of my life you might think I'm being dramatic. If I were to share how I feel (which … Continue reading Peace and Pain
My mom passed away just over 4 weeks ago. In the days immediately following her death, there was a deep sense of peace and relief; she had suffered so long and was finally at rest. My dad, brothers and I felt she deserved to go. We knew a great reward awaited her as she moved … Continue reading Pamela June Lewis | 1954 – 2015
Five years ago I woke up in the middle the night certain my mom had died. She'd had surgery a couple days prior and wasn't rebounding as quickly as they'd hoped; her Dr's made 3 critical errors during this minor, routine surgery. I was worried. It was 1am in Colorado and midnight in Oregon. I slept restlessly for … Continue reading Five Years Ago | My Miracle Momma & Long Term Suffering
Currently, I am in Calcutta on the 35th anniversary of the day I left as an infant. It is a day which represents a devastating loss and a beautiful gain. On June 10th, 1980 I was lifted out of one world and transported into another. I'm processing the loss and the gain on the same ground where … Continue reading 35.
This guy. He's so wonderful. He's strong and affectionate; generous and humble. He's basically everything that is good and kind. Kevin is my love language. I ADORE him. A general, 3 point summation of Kevin would look something like this: Forgiving & Gracious Witty & Hilarious H A N D S O ME & … Continue reading Kevin McClintock | LOVE of my life
About 1 month ago our little girl turned 4. I guess this happens; babies growing up and turning into actual people but nothing could have prepared me for how rapidly the time would pass. Four years with her. Looking back, some days it feels like 4 minutes and other days it feels like 4 lifetimes. … Continue reading Rubina Tyler | Version 4.0 (throwback to buttons birthday)
The time between now and day 1 of filming Calcutta is My Mother is dwindling and my anxiety is mounting. So often I wish I were more laid back and confident; easy going and relaxed. I certainly can be those things but in describing myself those traits wouldn't even make the top 10 list. I'm feeling eager … Continue reading 17 Hours.