My husband captured this quiet, precious moment between Rubina and I the other night as she and I talked about my mom. I'm extremely grateful to have this photo; I hope to never forget the way she looked at me, the tugging feeling as she wound my hair around her small fingers, and the sound of her voice as … Continue reading Grief and Motherhood
Our adored babe is now 5 years old and tiny, no longer. There are days in which the past five years are a colorful blur and days in which I feel the wear and weight of every minute. It's been challenging and growth inducing in the most beautiful and rewarding ways. Worth the wear, worth … Continue reading Rubina Tyler /// Version 5.0
I wonder what your hopes, dreams, and plans are for the year that lies ahead... I wonder if you'll dare to dream beyond the comfort of familiarity and self imposed restraints... I hope you do...I hope I do too... But first, let us exhale the year we are leaving behind. Let us, collectively, breathe out the mistakes, sorrows, … Continue reading Breathe In | Breathe Out
If I were to tell the truth, it might be sadder than you imagined. If I were to be open, honest, and raw it might surprise you. If I revealed these past few months have been the most grievous of my life you might think I'm being dramatic. If I were to share how I feel (which … Continue reading Peace and Pain
My mom passed away just over 4 weeks ago. In the days immediately following her death, there was a deep sense of peace and relief; she had suffered so long and was finally at rest. My dad, brothers and I felt she deserved to go. We knew a great reward awaited her as she moved … Continue reading Pamela June Lewis | 1954 – 2015
Five years ago I woke up in the middle the night certain my mom had died. She'd had surgery a couple days prior and wasn't rebounding as quickly as they'd hoped; her Dr's made 3 critical errors during this minor, routine surgery. I was worried. It was 1am in Colorado and midnight in Oregon. I slept restlessly for … Continue reading Five Years Ago | My Miracle Momma & Long Term Suffering
Currently, I am in Calcutta on the 35th anniversary of the day I left as an infant. It is a day which represents a devastating loss and a beautiful gain. On June 10th, 1980 I was lifted out of one world and transported into another. I'm processing the loss and the gain on the same ground where … Continue reading 35.