Self Depre[VACA]tion.

If you’ve ever met me, heard me speak, or have spent any amount of time with me at all, you know I tend to self deprecate as a form of humor. I think it’s hilarious. I find endless amounts of humor in talking about the cutting off circulation tightness of my pants (OMT) or the spackley thickness of my makeup.

The truth we all know behind the hilarity of self deprecation is blatant insecurity; insecurities that are screaming to get out (much like my internal organs due to the pant situation mentioned above…see what I did there?).

Self deprecation is a shield for me; a form of protection, a solid beat you to the punch tactic. If I let you in on the secret, it’s not a secret and I can breathe a little easier. Although, not really, because, for real, my pants are sooo tight. I can’t stop…

BUT, I’m going to try. To stop myself, that is. I’m going to work on it. I think of self deprecating as a lighthearted way of tolerating my insecurities without actually addressing them. It’s an awful habit because it takes away the opportunity for self improvement. An eruption of laughter (a slight overstatement, perhaps), should not be placed at a higher value than self care. In this case, self care looks like punching insecurities in the face by accepting them or changing them, not by making light of them for the sake of humor.

I’ve deceived myself into believing self deprecation is a form of authenticity. It isn’t. Authenticity looks more like asking for accountability, digging deep to the root of my lacking confidence, and dealing with myself head on.

I still think it’s funny and I don’t have any intentions of giving it up entirely because it’s woven into my personality. However, I do plan to take a self depre[vaca]tion. To ease up on myself in one sense and take issue with the insecurities lurking behind the jokes.

Want to join me on my self depre[vaca]tion? There might not be palm trees and beaches but you’re certainly encouraged to enjoy a pina colada or two…

reshandrubybuns

channeling these beachy vibes for my self depre(VACA)tion…

2 thoughts

  1. I really love this. I’m a huge believer in loving and celebrating every part of ourselves because we are all so uniquely made! You are a stunning and impactful woman (inside and Out!) and that deserves to be celebrated by others, but mostly by your toughest critic, yourself. I love you and your honesty. I’ll be taking that depre{vaca}tion with you!!!

    Like

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