Motherhood in May / Part 4
I’m a big fan of many mom blogs; the really good ones that make me laugh, cry, and remind me of the solidarity of motherhood. I often get the overwhelming sense the writer has taken up space in my own head, organized my thoughts, and jotted them down in a more hilarious manner. I love when someone else is able to articulate the madness within me. Sure, I envy them some of the time (let’s be real), but I mostly appreciate anyone who is willing to be authentic, especially while enduring the highs and lows motherhood presents.
Recently I’ve seen an abundance of posts with the “this is hard but you’re doing your best so good for you” theme. You’ve seen them; the posts we love because the writer will often include a photo of her own messy kitchen or pile of laundry to make us feel better. A piece on how we don’t have to do everything well and, as long as our children are still breathing at the end of the day, we can call it a win. And I agree, motherhood is hard. It is an emotional, arduous, seemingly never ending season of pouring into our families, often reserving nothing for ourselves.
I’m not writing today to debunk the sentiment or sorority-esque feeling those pieces intend, but I am here to say my failures as a mom are real; they are worth acknowledging and, more importantly, worth rectifying.
I haven’t been on top of my mom game lately. I’ve been slipping and struggling. There are many factors which contribute to my coming up short, of course; exhaustion, busyness, lack of patience, organizational issues, and emotional turmoil as the result of a difficult year, to name a few. I’ve allowed a lack of motivation, laziness, and depression to dictate what I will and will not accomplish in a day. Yes, my people are well fed. Yes, my people are well clothed. Am I loving them as well as they need to be loved? Maybe. They’d tell you I love them but that doesn’t mean my level of passion is on point.
Grace is crucial so please do not assume I’m leaving that part out. We absolutely cannot do it all well, all of the time. We must be gracious with ourselves but I’ve found, some of the time, I’m looking for permission to falter. When I’m in a season of not doing my best, I love reading blogs telling me it’s okay because life is hard. They make me feel better. They provide me with an out. They give me an excuse to continue not rising to the occasion and taking a back seat in my own life.
It’s important I do my best and sometimes that’s the case. My mom fails are plentiful but I have a few wins on my record, as well. I find the seasons in which I’ve settled into the darkness and set up camp because “motherhood is hard”, to be a distraction from all I’m able and called to do. Life is short and while every second cannot be lived to the fullest, as they suggest, there ought to be some consistency in the strive. There ought to be a resistance to settling and giving in to the hardships of motherhood, of working and parenting, of managing a household, and all the rest…
So, let’s breathe out the dark season and reach for the light. Mom winning doesn’t mean homemade, from scratch, DIY, organic only, perfectly braided, no cavities, clean shirts, or an empty sink and dishwasher. Mom winning means being intentional about loving the people we love well, catapulting ourselves forward even when it’s tough, and fulfilling our purpose in the most powerful, impacting way possible.
It’s hard, this mom life, but we can do it…
Motherhood in May