I saw a woman in the grocery store today who reminded me SO much of my mom. She was tiny and a little hunched over. She was wearing nerdy sneakers with a long skirt and I could almost hear my mom saying, "Aren't they cute? Do you want me to buy you a pair?". Her … Continue reading The Cutest, Little Lady in Nerdy Sneakers
I turned 37 yesterday. I felt 37 yesterday. But in the best way. I felt comfortable in my own skin; in the work I'm doing, in the direction I'm heading, in my weight and appearance, with my brow game, and mostly in being in the presence of my sweet family. I feel older too. Over the … Continue reading Mothers / Birthdays
I Wish / I Hope / I Know I wish we had more time together. I hope to cherish and treasure all the moments ahead with the ones I love. I wish for everyone the closeness we shared. I hope to achieve it to an even greater depth with my daughter. I wish I’d inquired more about your life … Continue reading I Wish / I Hope / I Know
Motherhood in May / Part 3 As I've thrown myself into writing my book, I've shared less and less about adoption here. I kind of hate that even though it is a necessity as I am determined to manage my book content and keep it fresh. (for all previous posts on adoption, click here) Today, however, I have a few … Continue reading I Long for Both of Mine…
Motherhood in May / Part 2 Odd as it may seem, for me, most days begin with a seemingly obvious reminder that my mom is gone and has been for more than 7 months. I still attempt to call her several times a week and often find myself surprised by the program from her funeral gracing my refrigerator. As … Continue reading Beets & Basil.
Motherhood in May / Part 1 The Motherhood in May series meets the How to be a Bad Mom series. In the early days of teaching Rubina her colors we would play the "color game" and one day, this transpired: Me: What color are your boots? R: Yellow! What color is the box? R: Blue! What color is … Continue reading How to be a Bad Mom, Part 2 | Blue is the New Orange
In May I will focus solely on the topic of motherhood in a series titled, Motherhood in May. The anticipation of my first Mother's Day without my mom, has my emotions in a hurricane-esque fury. I find myself anticipating the weight of her absence caving in on me on a day in which I have more reasons than … Continue reading Motherhood.
My husband captured this quiet, precious moment between Rubina and I the other night as she and I talked about my mom. I'm extremely grateful to have this photo; I hope to never forget the way she looked at me, the tugging feeling as she wound my hair around her small fingers, and the sound of her voice as … Continue reading Grief and Motherhood
If I were to tell the truth, it might be sadder than you imagined. If I were to be open, honest, and raw it might surprise you. If I revealed these past few months have been the most grievous of my life you might think I'm being dramatic. If I were to share how I feel (which … Continue reading Peace and Pain
Five years ago I woke up in the middle the night certain my mom had died. She'd had surgery a couple days prior and wasn't rebounding as quickly as they'd hoped; her Dr's made 3 critical errors during this minor, routine surgery. I was worried. It was 1am in Colorado and midnight in Oregon. I slept restlessly for … Continue reading Five Years Ago | My Miracle Momma & Long Term Suffering