Despite arriving 2 months early, spending 6+ weeks in the NICU, and needing an oxygen tank in addition to her diaper bag for 8 weeks, Rubina was a super easy baby. In those early days I remember wondering about how and when it would get hard…
I learned early on that talking about the difficulties of parenthood with other parents is like discussing the weather, what’s for dinner, or any number of mundane topics. We’re all in agreement… Parenthood is so hard.
So, I don’t know why it surprises me when we come face to face with a parenthood challenge on any random Wednesday night or on a Tuesday after hockey practice.
I think it’s because until any number of these difficult moments occur, we never saw them coming (apart from the obvious obstacles; breast feeding, teething, potty training…etc…) We know our kids will ask hard questions, we know our kids will be hurt, and we know they won’t always make good choices. We know our kids are human. We do our best to protect and prepare them, but it’s impossible to anticipate it all.
Parenthood is hard because life is hard.
I often feel as if it’s my first day on the job when a hard thing happens. I lose all faith in myself; I forget all the things I’ve done well and I’m certain I won’t be able to see us through it. I’m overcome with doubt and regret.
The truth is, I’m an ill equipped human fumbling my way through life and I just happen to oversee another tinier, less knowledgeable, ill equipped human fumbling her way through life. Fortunately, I have a partner in all this and he and I make a good team. Parenthood is hard. Parenthood is good. But so hard.
I’m sorry for stating the obvious, but my point is this…
Parents, give yourself grace. Surround yourself with wisdom and grace givers. I found refuge this week in my husband, my big brother, my sister-in-law, and a dear friend. They listened to me and poured wisdom into me; they prayed over our family. I will still be ill equipped the next time a mountainous parenting issue drops itself in my living room, but I have a tribe to lean into and a tiny person full of hope and trust in her mom and dad. She believes we can do this and she’s right.
We can do this, parents.
We’re raising the future.